Oh baby it can’t be over like this
Someone help me, if only I could convey my feelings to you
And the bizarre thing is that I did it for my old man. I tortured this poor kid because I wanted him to think I was cool. He’s always going off about when he was in school and the wild things he used to do. And I got the feeling that he was disappointed that I never cut loose on anyone, right? So I’m sitting in the locker room and I’m taping up my knee, and Larry’s undressing a couple lockers from me. And he’s kinda, he’s kinda skinny. Weak. And I started thinkin’ about my father, and his attitude about, about weakness. And the next thing I knew, I jumped on top of him and started whaling on him. And my friends, they just laughed and cheered me on. And afterwards, when I’m sitting in Vernon’s office, all I could think about is Larry’s father and Larry having to go home and explain what happened to him. And the humiliation - the fucking humiliation he must have felt. It must have been unreal. I mean, how… how do you apologize for something like that? There’s no way. It’s because of me and my old man. God, I fucking hate him. He’s like this mindless machine that I can’t even relate to anymore.
"And it’s not just the people stare; and call me names; that I can’t fit in when we’re together; it’s that I’d rather break up with the man of my dreams than take my clothes off in front of him; than let him touch me; than let him soak me up like I do him. So Kester might think I’m running away, but he gave me the options. And, in a way, I am facing my fears, I am doing the thing I’m most afraid of.”